I don't believe I fell for it...I mean I thought I knew every con to do with darts there was. I've been writing about most of them for some time now. I sort of collect them I suppose.
I fell hook line and sinker for what is probably the oldest con in the book. It must have slipped me by somehow. The part of my brain that usually spots these things must have been on holiday!
I was in the darts club a little early, waiting for my pals to come in for our social darts night when Frank came over and asked if I fancied a game of singles. At this point I should have spotted the glint in Frank's eye. Frank is the son of the late great Harry (see Article 7) and I think the gene that gives you the poker faced look to enable a good 'sting' is most definitely hereditary.
"Fancy playing for a beer then", says Frank.
"To make it interesting, how about if I shoot normal, but you play double score. That's every throw at the board for you is doubled. So I've really got to go some to catch you!"
Now Frank is a better player than me and can quite often finish in around 14-15 darts, so I thought nothing suspicious of this offer, only of the nice cold beer that would be awaiting me in a few minutes!
Frank persuaded me that he should have the first throw because he was so disadvantaged ...
Looking back I should have suspected at this point, but as I say, the Numpty function in my brain was well and truly switched on!
Frank throws first - straight 60!
I follow and throw a good 55, just catching the treble 5. I know I'm throwing OK...this is gonna be easy!
"That's 110 for me then Frank...Right?"
After a few visits to the board I've left myself with 59 to finish. Frank needs about 250.
I go for 19 and hit the single!
"That's 38...21 left!", says Frank.
Then it hit me like a freight train! You cannot finish a game of 501 when you're doubling your score because it will always end up as an even number!
I fell to the floor in fits of laughter at the reality of how I had been stitched up like a kipper!
"You Bxxxxxd!" I laughed, as Frank gave me a consoling slap on the back and said,
"I'll have a pint of bitter please!"
Word got round that the club practical joker had been 'done', and my evening was spent fending away offers from other dart players to play 'double score'.
Please - I need to get revenge. Does anyone have any dart stings, cons or practical jokes that I can get Frank back with?
The problem with playing darts in a large group is the fact that you have to put your beer down sometime!
The table near our dart board is decidedly small and 12 or more pints can be crowded onto the thing if we're playing a group game like doubles, cricket or killer.
Because in the past drinking someone else's beer is very commonplace, and the confusion over whose is which pint can bring the game to a standstill, players have resorted to placing beer mats, dart cases and other personal objects across the top of their pint glasses to identify them.
This practice has now stopped, as last week Mick turned round to find his dart case submerged in a pint of beer!
"Who's done that to my beer?"
Everybody's heads swivelled round from the board to see what the problem was.
That's not your beer," says Dave, "it's mine. And who's is that old sweaty dart case in it?"
The old leather darts case had now started to sort of dissolve and black bits were floating in Dave's beer. One of Mick's old flights with a skull and crossbones on bobbed up to the top as if to indicate a new environmental poison hazard!
We are now back to the old practice of accidentally drinking each others beers by mistake and accusing each other of being 'Beer Bandits'. No one wants Mick's old dart case in their beer believe me!
Throw where you Look, and Look where you Throw,
Throw where you Look, and Look where you Throw, Rockford
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